Hello, I'm Trix!

Introduction

My name is Tricia Trix Johansson and I'm 30 years old and live in Sweden. I started to blog in 2007, though in Swedish, about mental health and living with disabilities. I've also published music and books about living my life as an autistic woman. In May 2023 I started this new blog to start sharing my journey with my faith and recovery from trauma. I also wanted to share my creativity of music and visual art online, so that's also part of this blog.

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Down below are fragments from my life story. Trigger warning: domestic violence, abuse, sexual assault,  mental illness etc.

Who I became after trauma

I was born autistic, but I didn't get a proper diagnosis until I was 13 and then it was changed again when I was 24 years old. I was hospitalized a lot as a child due to several psychotic episodes because of childhood trauma. When I got better and moved to my own apartment I met my now ex-boyfriend who was beating me up daily and did rape me whenever he decided to do so as well. He also used me together with his friends. After he almost killed me, I did escape just to be broken down again a few years later by another guy who raped me inside of his van and I got internal wounds. The police report didn't go anywhere and nothing happened to the man. But I was lost in life feeling like the entire world was evil. I'm still figuring out life after these events and I'm now also in trauma therapy working with myself. I'm slowly getting better and I'm trying to trust in God again after all of these events.

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Who I am today

After everything that happened to me, I'm focusing a lot more on personal development and taking care of myself today than before. Studying theology is a form of self-care for me. I also have a passion for psychology and I have a degree in social education/social work, and I've also studied trauma-informed care and quite a few online courses in psychology, life coaching, and the behavioral sciences. I consider myself a lifelong learner and I will always study something! Right now I do not work a job due to being in therapy and working on myself though.

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My goals in life

My goal is to use my knowledge to help people with mental health, their faith journey and to find themselves. That's what I'm trying to do with this blog and with my online ministry. Another goal is to freelance more with my digital illustration, but that's a secondary thing. It would be fun to start a little online business with my arts and crafts.

I also want to be happy in life, that's my biggest goal; to feel happy and content with how I'm living. I'm mostly looking inwards for happiness and I don't seek external things to make me happy. Like money, traveling, materialism, other peoples' validation, and so on. I'm trying to be mindful and live for my internal happiness through meditation, doing what makes me happy, and doing good stuff for others. In the end that's what matters.

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I think I've come far with my way of thinking. For a few years ago I was trapped in a destructive relationship thinking the entire world was evil. Now I still think of this world as a fallen place, but I feel more happiness and contentment in life and I feel like the future is a bright place where I want to be.